Unqualified Survival Guide: Movement Electronic Music Festival

Alright, first thing’s first: I have never attended Movement. I have heard of it at least, so that’s something. Anyways, this is a new type of list where unqualified individuals (mostly me) give unqualified advice. Movement is quickly moving closer (heh), so let’s get to it. I want you to be prepared for this weekend!

1. Remember to stretch

As the name implies, there’s bound to be plenty of movement going on, right? Dancing, twerking, tweaking, what have you. Nobody wants to end up at the first aid tent with a strained hamstring or a pulled quad, so let’s remember our lessons from high school gym class and get some quality stretching in before going dance crazy.


2. Don’t bring magnets

I also see “electronic” in the official name for this party. So, one lesson I’ve always held onto is “don’t place magnets near any electronics.” I mean freaking magnets, how do they work? Right, Insane Clown Posse? (okay it’s an archaic NSFW: language internet meme, just indulge me). Those things will wipe out anything you have stored or anything that makes electronics function. Just say no to the poles, the north and south magnetic poles that is.


3. Be careful with glow sticks

I assume there will be plenty of glowing doo-dads and thingies. Don’t get me wrong, they’re cool and fun. Just don’t get too overzealous with cracking them on and getting the glow juice on you. It might be flammable. I don’t know. You’re probably not taking all this advice anyways. If you end up looking like a Jackson Pollock painting session inside a Spencer’s Gift store, steer clear of open flames. Maybe.


4. Not all “candy” passed around will be candy

Who doesn’t like free candy? I’m just saying it’s likely that the “candy” being given out won’t actually be candy. If you’re into that scene, that’s totally fine. But if you’re not into that, get a designated candy taster to go with you. Let them give it the okay before you chomp down that Sour Patch Kid or Skittle. I also wouldn’t save the candy you get because there might be some issues if you try passing it out at Halloween…..


5. Be vigilant of the robot uprising

Maybe this is all a front for the robot rebellion to take place. Maybe the electronic music is meant to put humanity into a trance so the robots can overthrow our society. Have you ever seen I, Robot? I haven’t, much like how I haven’t been to Movement so there you go. Just saying, keep your eyes open.


Have any unqualified Movement advice of your own? Comment below!

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