Exposed: An Insight into Relationships

I think relationships with people are interesting. Humans are drawn to connect and are not meant to be alone. We are built and raised on “community.” Who we choose to spend time with, and even who we decide to marry will mold our life and change us. With this perspective in mind, I choose who I spend time with carefully, because I see the impact relationships have on my life.

I recently read an article from the New York Times entitled, “Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person.” I really don’t know what I was thinking it would say. Maybe something like, “You will marry the wrong person, because you’re a millennial!” or maybe something light-hearted. No. The point that stuck out to me from the article was that it said you will marry the wrong person because WE don’t show ourselves to people. Whoa.

Deep, right?

I initially thought this was a bunch of bullshit. How could that be true? You’re getting married to someone, so of course, you have shown yourself to this person.

Then there was the part about not associating love with happiness. What was that about? But, as I continued to read the article and think about relationships with humans as a whole, it all made sense. I think this article can be applied to all relationships, not just marriage. Because at the end of the day, your husband or wife is just another relationship in your life, like a friend or co-worker. There are just varying levels of depth.

Very rarely are we completely authentic with people. We spend most of our time in the beginning phases when we meet people trying to hide our “crazy.” We don’t really show who we are as people. But, why? Why do we try to create a version of ourselves that is inaccurate, only to revert back to the real us once we become more comfortable? That makes us look even more crazy. Doesn’t it?

I think it is the real, raw moments in a relationship that help a relationship grow and become able withstand time. Those moments may not be pretty or pleasant to go through, but exposing that “crazy” side to another person can be beautiful. This person can help you grow to into a better “you.”

I have a friend who has seen me at my worst. When all my bad qualities are running rampant and I am a walking nightmare, she would probably rather be in a room full of zombie clowns and giant spiders than be around me. But, she stays. I have learned the most about myself in those moments. The same is true when she is her ugliest.

When you become self aware, you will realize that no person is the perfect fit for you. In terms of friendship or marriage, every human in your life will most likely frustrate you, disappoint you and drive you nuts. But, you’ll do the same to them.

We are imperfect. Two imperfect people will not create a perfect relationship. Your relationship will be imperfect. So, instead of running from that and striving to develop your idea of perfection, embrace the imperfection. Forgive a little more. Laugh a little more. And realize that there is no perfect being that exists to meet your every need.

♦ ♦ ♦

 

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